Building relationships whether it’s through social media or out in everyday life, is so important for not only our business success, but for our personal enjoyment as well. I genuinely enjoy meeting new people, connecting with others and building relationships in my life. As a “people person”, it comes naturally to me to engage with others and nurture those friendships, but I know that’s not true for everyone.
Building relationships in an office environment or with your clients in the corporate world is too easy. You have the environment and framework set up for you to nurture those relationships. In the online world, it’s a totally different beast. Even for someone who considers themself an outgoing, “people person”, I have found it to be a challenge to build trustworthy, long-standing friendships online at times. Building genuine relationships online can be hard. Everyone wants to sell you something and not everyone’s intentions are genuine. Now I’ve built some great virtual friendships with entrepreneurs online, but I’ve also gotten plenty of annoying spam-y messages in my inbox too.
So, here’s the deal, I am sharing with you the top 4 mistakes you’re making when trying to build a relationship online, and what to do instead to build a genuine connection.
What to stop: Cold messaging
Coming from a girl who used to work the MLM business hard, I’m pleading with you to stop the cold messages. This is an immediate turn off and not a way to build someone’s trust. It feels a bit intrusive to be honest to have someone pop up in your inbox that you don’t even know. I can’t tell you the amount of people that friend me from seeing my post in a Facebook group and then immediately messaging me when I accept. Y’all, this is NOT the way to do it.
What to do instead: I am all for meeting new friends in the online space, but why don’t you do it where you make that initial connection. So if it is a Facebook group, build your connection there. Comment on their posts/photos in the group. Start engaging with their comments on other’s posts. Follow their business page. But don’t immediately friend them without making a prior connection first. People will be more receptive to your friend request down the line when they feel like you’ve built some sort of relationship inside the group first. It feels safer. It is less intrusive. It just feels more genuine vs. thinking you have an agenda or want to simply sell them something.
What to stop: Immediately offering a freebie in your DMs
Do you really have success with this? Offering freebies is GREAT, and I have one of my own, but I don’t friend people and message them immediately and tell them they should download what I have to offer, because IT’S FREE! That is not relationship building, that is spam. Even if I was interested in what you have to offer, you have not built that know, like and trust factor yet, or even a personalized message as to why you think this would help me because you haven’t spent 5 seconds getting to know me.
What to do instead: Once you’ve engaged with someone in the “place” where you met them online, start a conversation. Get to know their business and what they do and potential pain points related to the area you serve. Have a dialogue. This goes for both Facebook or Instagram messages. Connect first before you offer.
What to stop: Pitching your services up front
I totally understand the urge to reach out to someone and pitch your services if you see something they post that you feel like you can help with. But guess what? There’s probably 10 people that can also help that person. Don’t simply comment on a post pitching yourself (unless asked to). This just makes the person overwhelmed and really does not help them at all with their problem. Okay cool, you have the (potential) solution, but why should they hire you?
What to do instead: Provide value. Simple as that. People are going to be interested in someone who truly HELPS them. Demonstrate your knowledge and expertise. Give a bit of helpful information that they can use and then they’ll likely come back to you as the expert.
What to stop: The like/follow/unfollow cycle
Why is this still a thing? I think we’re all moving beyond the idea of having more followers means you’re more powerful or influential. I am all for engaging on others posts, and liking and commenting and trying to increase your followers, but don’t do it with the intention of trying to get someone to follow you and then unfollowing them a week later. This does not serve you in the long run, nor is it building any sort of relationship.
What to do instead: Like, comment, follow people who you genuinely want to work with or learn from. Invest in people and they’ll invest in you. Learn what they do, what they’re offering, what they’re struggling with and provide value or encouragement on their posts.
Building genuine connections online takes work! You truly have to have an abundance mindset and want to invest in others. I love supporting other women in business whether or not they ever purchase from me. If you are struggling in this area and feel more like it’s a competition, I suggest you do some mindset work on this specifically because there are plenty of ideal clients out there for everyone!
In my opinion, building a genuine relationships should look something like this (specific to Facebook): engage in a group through comments and likes for a few weeks, add as a friend, comment and like posts for a few more weeks, THEN you can reach out via direct message to continue to cultivate that relationship, if/when the timing feels right THEN you can invite them to an upcoming challenge or send them a freebie or pitch them. But I can promise the conversation may naturally go that way vs. you giving a templated “sales pitch.
How do you build relationships online?
Katelyn Hamilton is an Online Business Manager and Get Your Sh!t Together Strategist. She helps busy entrepreneurs organize, strategize and prioritize their business to go from overwhelmed to out-in-front.
After spending 6 years in the corporate world working with multimillion dollar companies, top-rated chefs and celebrities, she launched her own business to find more flexibility and freedom. She matched her corporate salary in just one year of starting her business.
Katelyn is also a soon-to-be wife, stepmom, dog mama of two furry friends, fitness lover, sports fanatic (Go Dawgs) and dreams of living at the beach.
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